Websites Worth Reading: The Toast.

I've found myself reevaluating my list of go-to daily reads. As I said in my last post, so many of my favorite websites and blogs have become less than inspirational. Of course there are still my forever reads, the sites I'll probably always give a chance, even when the content wavers between dull and absolutely remarkable. But they're sites that have provided me with more interesting reads than not, so I feel as though my loyalty stands with them. Occasionally dull or not. (As this blog is equally guilty of sometimes being. I'm working on changing that, though. Promise.)

The Toast is a new(ish) site that has instantly risen to the top of daily stops. It's full of original content, and can be incredibly insightful, as well as leave you with splattered tea across your screen from laughter at the most inconvenient of moments. 

I've included some of my personal favorite posts below, some funny, some insightful, some absurdly hilarious. Just a sampling of the wit and intellect you're certain to find on The Toast.

How To Tell If You Are In A Jane Austen Novel

A picnic has gone horribly wrong.

You have five hundred a year. From who? Five hundred what? No one knows. No one cares. You have it. It’s yours. Every year. All five hundred of it.

You are in a garden, and you are astonished.

A woman who hates you is playing the pianoforte.

 

 Texts From Emily Dickinson

Let’s go out tonight okay
we don’t have to do anything big but I think we should go out
just for dinner or something
I think that would be a good idea

Go out, Again?-
I went Out to Mount Holyoke

for college
you went there for college thirteen years ago

 And now I must rest.

A Few of Fraulein Maria’s Favorite Things, As Ranked by Louisa Von Trapp

4. Bright Copper Kettles: I can’t say I’ve ever really given bright copper kettles much thought, but they sound pleasant enough. Nice and shiny, and like maybe someone could make me a nice pot of soup in it. It’s a little random, but then Fraulein Maria is often a little random-seeming, what with all her breaking into song at odd moments and those terrible clothes and whatnot.

12. Wild Geese that Fly with the Moon on their Wings: This sounds so nice. Majestic waterfowl in flight! In the moonlight! Great! But let’s take a closer look. First of all, geese are aggressive. They will bite their own grandmother to get at a moldy piece of bread and they would have knocked down wee Gretel as soon as look at her. Second, they are basically loudly honking machines for the production of foul green shit. Third, I grant you that the moon on their wings is a poetic touch. But if they are flying and you are looking at them, how the hell will you see the moon on their wings? You are below them, the moon is above, shining presumably on the tops of their wings. Can’t see it. Don’t care.

13. Silver White Winters that Melt into Springs: This manages to make mud sound poetic, but let’s be real, here’s what we’re talking about when we talk about snowmelt: Sodden lawns dotted with the dog shit and trash the snow has been covering all winter long.

The Fault In Our Stars’ Deleted Scenes

[A GIRL enters, coughing blood into a handkerchief]
GIRL: no
[A BOY enters, coughing blood into a handkerchief. An accordion plays.]
BOY: yes
they kiss

Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892-1950): The Beyoncé of Formal Verse

Like our Queen B, Millay used her hot party girl persona to get her voice on the airwaves, and then she used that access to broadcast her feminist subliminal messages. (Thanks to Jess Zimmerman for this metaphor.) I mean, imagine the “Single Ladies” dance happening while you read this:

I, that had been to you, had you remained,
But one more waking from a recurrent dream,
Cherish no less the certain stakes I gained,
And walk your memory’s halls, austere, supreme,
A ghost in marble of a girl you knew
Who would have loved you in a day or two.

Shoulda put a ring on it.

“We’re Fine Here, How Are You?” Normal Moments In Art History Where No One Is About To Get Murdered

hey guys hey come on in just come right on in i’m so glad you’re here by yourselves just the two of you 

we’re going to have such a good normal time in this cave together 

Nothing Is Wrong: Women, Mental Illness, and Medication

The stigma of privilege has a lot to do with women’s silence around meds. Affluent, educated women know that they have no right to complain about their lot in life. Indeed, to spend so much time ruminating on one’s own psyche is an indicator of ample resources and leisure. Nothing is wrong, we say. I have everything anyone could want, my problems aren’t so large, it’s not a big deal. This line of thought can be dangerous, because the person devalues their own experience. They exist as a “failed subject” in a privileged medicalized world, and should do their best if not to hide this failure, then at least not to complain about it. But if nothing is wrong, why do we need to be medicated? Am I actually crazy? 

P.S. This post I featured was from The Toast.